It’s true that when you marry someone, you marry their whole family – including the much-loved (or much-loathed?) mother-in-law. If you have to go away with your overbearing, controlling mother-in-law, this is where to take her:
Distance spent with your monster-in-law: One hour and 20 minutes’ drive.
There isn’t much we don’t like about this hotel and we’re sure you’ll feel the same. Not only do they serve the best food in the whole of Rustenburg, this treasured hotel is also a firm favorite with South Africans and has been for more than 40 years. This is the undisputed grande dame of hotels and is way beyond perfect for a family getaway. Opinionated mother dearest will appreciate it too because there’s a fabulous spa you can whisk her away to for a couple of hours, plus a heated pool. It’s a win-win!
Distance spent with your monster-in-law: 30 Minute drive to O.R. Tambo International Airport and a one-hour and 45-minute flight.
This five-star Sky Villa Boutique Hotel of the Cape Summer Villa Collection is situated in Barons View Estate, Plettenberg Bay and we guarantee your MIL will be exceedingly impressed. Perched on a hilltop with 360-degree views of the ocean and Keurbooms Lagoon, and just five minutes away from the town and Plettenberg Bay Beach. There are 14 luxury rooms, so make sure you book one for you and hubby and a separate one for mama. Send her off for an afternoon to taste their speciality crafted cocktails or a wine tasting in their wine room.
Distance spent with your monster-in-law: Four-hour and 20-minute drive.
Mommy can become close acquaintances with an alpaca (instead of you) and although you might dream of him spitting in her face, instead take the high road and imagine a three-storey silo that once stored cattle feed, which has been transformed into self-catering accommodation. You’ll fall head over heels with the tranquillity of the rolling hills and its charming beauty! Because it’s three levels, you won’t feel overcrowded or overwhelmed by you know who and although they offer a cleaning service at an additional R100 per day, we think mom is qualified enough for the dishes.
Distance spent with your monster-in-law: Four-and-a-half-hour drive.
If mamma dearest has a deep appreciation for the South African bushveld, then this is the place to take her. Not only will she be captivated by the innovative design and luxury accommodation, but you’ll also be pleased because you can skip a daily game drive or three and get that much-needed break from her and her parenting manual. When she’s out gazing for lionesses, you’ll be perched outdoors on your own private deck of your safari suite, basking in the peace and quiet. PS: remember it’s communal eating and living, so you’ll hardly have to allocate one-on-one time.
Distance spent with your monster-in-law: 30-Minute drive to O.R. Tambo International Airport, One-hour and 20-minute flight to Port Elizabeth and then a one-hour drive to J-Bay.
This accommodation is right on top of the beach. Breakfast is served daily between 8AM and 10AM and lunch is available upon request. It’s ideal if she’s into adventure because you can take her on a social kayaking excursion or, better yet, take her on the extreme kayaking experience with a difference (you can thank us later). She can also create sweet memories with the grandkids and try birdwatching, fishing, hiking and catch the sunset. Instead of her being intrusive all weekend long, this place will surely keep her entertained for hours.
Distance spent with your monster-in-law: 30-Minute drive to O.R. Tambo International Airport, a two-hour flight to Cape Town and then a 45-minute drive to Simon’s Town.
Deep down (not six feet down), mothers-in-law are really nice people, right? Well, you’ll get to know yours very intimately on this weekend escape because at Tintswalo at Boulders, there are theme-inspired luxury suites. You’ll revel in the discernible vocalisations of your MIL’s laughter and get to hear the growls of the penguins. Yup, you’ll have the finest view in the whole of the Cape – this villa overlooks the framed oceanfront of Boulders Beach. If you’d prefer to make a mark, go frolic through the Cape’s renowned wineries or take a hike up Table Mountain. Whatever you choose, we guarantee she’ll be left feeling inspired!
Distance spent with your monster-in-law: Four-hour and 15-minute drive
If your MIL is a glamper, then bring her here because these facilities are of the lowest glamping standards. It’s every camper’s paradise, but for the luxe living benchmark, this will be sure to shock her socks off. Yes, she’ll be mesmerised by the magnificent landscape and cascading waterfalls, but it’s plain old camping, so it’s sure to irk her (assuming that’s the intention). While you’re at it, there are also excellent ablution blocks available – but don’t tell her we said so.
Distance spent with your monster-in-law: Two-hour and 45-minute drive
This weekend lodge, known as the jewel of Mpumalanga, is situated in the majestic Schoemanskloof escarpment with breathtaking 240-degree panoramic views of the lowveld valley and Drakensberg Mountains. We know mothers-in-law say the most absurd things, but when you need a breather you can simply take in the mountain views. If mum’s all about keeping a low carbon footprint, she’ll love that each chalet is 100% eco-friendly with electricity supplied via solar and gas. She can also bring along Molly because it’s pet-friendly and pets even get their own rooms.